The One About the Megabus

 I’ll preface this with the simple fact that I dislike buses.  I had the same bus driver from first through eighth grade.  She stunk.  While she got me to school on time, she always managed to hit potholes, islands, and curbs successfully.  I never should have taken the Megabus, but I digress.

My New Sister (Britt)

My Sister, and my typical shenanigans

My Sister and New Brother

So, I planned on packing my stuff up on the 16^th, piling it all into Vye (my car) and taking more than a week to get to NOLA.  As usual, my plan did not come to fruition.  My sister, and my new sister decided it would be more fun to spend time with them in DC.  Pause.  Let me explain.  My sister is my biological sister.  She’s awesome and amazing in any number of ways.  I love to visit her.  Even more so is her husband (my new brother, well not so new anymore), they are about equal when it comes to amazingness.  Love visiting them both.  My new sister is Britt.  She is not impressive in any way, shape, or form, (LOL).  She's a pretty cool kid sister.  But she has attached herself to my family like a leech, and well…we don’t care enough to rid ourselves of her.  Un-pause?  So I headed to DC with my new sister and spent a week bumming on my sister’s couch.  Pause…again.  This couch is also amazing.  Being almost six feet tall it is hard to find a couch I fit on, and I fit on this one…and it’s comfy.  Un-pause…again?  So I hung out with Britt a little, I got to do the fun DC touristy stuff, and I got to eat at Crisp and Juicy && the most amazing Oreo cupcakes (See Britt’s blog for a picture).  This cupcake is only one reason I like to visit my sister.  She likes to cook.  She likes to blog.  She like to blog about her cooking, and you can follow her blog here.  Anywho, this amazing weekend had to come to an end, a tragically bitter end.

Smash cut to…

The Megabus.

So we (my sister and I) were running late to Union Station, but still managed to get to the bus five minutes before it pulled off.  We took a fair amount of grief from the bus driver about being late and other crap I wasn’t listening to…blah blah whatever.  I climbed the tiny stairs, I can only assume these stairs were made for elves, and found a seat next to a woman who had an affinity for biting her nails. Who makes seats this small?  My big self was not made to ride on this bus.  The bus takes off and loops around the city and goes back to Union Station.  “Why are we back?” asked one girl to someone on her phone.  Which was dumb.  The person on the phone didn’t know why we were back.  At this point I texted my sister the following:

Please note "Sister-Woman" a classic Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Reference

 We proceeded to sit at Union Station for 20 minutes.  Because some passengers arrived late.  Please remember the bus driver yelled at me for being five minutes early. Yeah.  Lame.  **Over-exaggerated eye-roll** Then we finally got on the road and I learned quickly that I didn’t belong on the bus.  Everyone fell asleep at the same time.  Not me.  There was a pain in my side.  I'm not sure if a nerve was pinched, or my fat was being pinched by the armrest, but it lasted the entire trip. My back was hurting, my knees were crammed into the seat in front of me, and the lady next to me kept kicking me.  **Side-eye** Then I realized there were still four hours left.  I tried to make myself more comfortable.  I tried to make myself fit in the seat.  I tried and tried.  I failed.  However, the lady next to me managed to contort herself into various positions while she slept.  She looked too comfortable.  Show off.  No one is impressed by you, lady.  To help relieve my jealousy, I texted Britt this:

Notice the Sadface.  I was feeling sad, so I used a sadface.

But what made me even more "sadface" was that after getting of the Megabus I would have to get on the SmartBus to get me back on campus.  I feverishly tried to find someone to pick me up.  I would have literally cried if I had to get on another bus. Not. A. Fan.  But my Knight-ess in Shiny Nissan Rogue came to pick me up.  THANKS SHANOYA!!!  Pause.  Riding in Shanoya's car was so comfortable for the following reasons:

1. I fit in the seat
2. Shanoya did not yell at me for being on time
3. We did not have to wait for people that were late
4. There was no pain in my side
5. Shanoya was not kicking me
6. Shanoya is a fun conversationalist.  Never a dull moment

This is to say I won’t ride the bus again.  I am not against public transportation.  I love people watching on the Metro.  Next time I go to DC I’m going to try just train hopping.  That sounds fun!  I will have a comment for everybody.  I did see a pair of loafers on the Metro that I liked. Hmmm, glad I remembered that.  They looked like this:

Me likey.  Me want to buy-ee.

Anyway, I made my way back to Blacksburg before making my way to NOLA.  But that’s a story for the next blog.

Peace,

PTJ